I Miss The Pre-PETA Days...

Obamacare Passes House: What's In The New Health Care Bill?

I have looked at the bill, examined it, and here are some of what we can expect..

* All prescription medications can now only available for pick up at a centrally located state-run pharmacy in Petersburg, Ohio. There is only one pick up window but do not worry because there are plans to add a drive up window by 2016.

* Obese Americans can apply for special consideration that they are technically two people and should be given a tax break as such.

* Medical doctors, now being owned by the state, must attend a mandatory timeshare seminar once a year.

* There will indeed be a death panel. Some of the members of the panel will include Charles Rangel, Nancy Pelosi, and Barbra Streisand.

* Barbra Streisand has opted to change the lyrics of her song "People" to better reflect her new role on the death panel. Some of the new lyrics include.. "Grandmas...grandmas who need chemo.. will be some of the unluckiest people in the world.."

* McDonald's, Burger King, and Wendy's are corporations that make your children want to eat their food by making it taste good. They are to be shut down for the good of the people. Mayor McCheese will be given a new state position as Czar McSalad.

* Canadians who previously came down here for superior health care are out of luck, but according to the bill they are welcome to stay and have their health treatments decided by our new death panel.

* Why, just fifty years ago, they thought a disease like your daughter's was caused by demonic possession or witchcraft. But nowadays we know that Isabelle is suffering from an imbalance of bodily humors, perhaps caused by a toad or a small dwarf living in her stomach.

Utopia has arrived!!

These Two Win The Halloween Costume Contest In My Opinion...

For life!

A Couple Of Observations...

Image via Wikipedia

* Jay Leno is kind of making me mad. He left the Tonight Show and handed the reins over to Conan. And then he pulls a Brett Favre and agrees to host a show before Conan that basically puts Conan back in the same situation he was in. The Tonight Show is the coveted spot and Leno seems to have trouble getting out of the way. Well now, Leno says if asked he would return to the Tonight Show. I don't think he realizes how unfunny his show was. The ratings were from elderly people that couldn't work their remote. Conan O'Brien is a great replacement and I think his ratings will go way up after Leno does the right thing and retires.

* David Letterman.. wow, what can I say. His shtick got old in about 1988 and yet somehow he has convinced them to draw that circus show out over decades. And now it turns out he is the old man pervert that lives next door. I think he and Leno should both retire and go around and work the nursing home circuit. Late night TV is no longer fun with these two geezers hanging around.

The One Time Tool Got It Right

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

Eye on the TV
'cause tragedy thrills me
Whatever flavor it happens to be

Like:
"Killed by the husband" ...
"Drowned by the ocean" ...
"Shot by his own son" ...
"She used a poison in his tea,
Then (she) kissed him goodbye"
That's my kind of story
It's no fun til someone dies.

Don't look at me like I am a monster
Frown out your one face, but with the other (you)
Stare like a junkie into the TV
Stare like a zombie while the mother holds her child,
Watches him die,
Hands to the sky cryin "why, oh why?"

Cause I need to watch things die from a distance
Vicariously, I live while the whole world dies
You all need it too - don't lie.

Why can't we just admit it?
Why can't we just admit it?
We won't give pause until the blood is flowin'
Neither the brave nor bold
Nor brightest of stories told
We won't give pause until the blood is flowin'

I need to watch things die from a good safe distance
Vicariously, I live while the whole world dies
You all feel the same so why can't we just admit it?

Blood like rain fallin' down
Drum on grave and ground

Part vampire, part warrior,
Carnivore and voyeur
Stare at the transmittal.
Sing to the death rattle.

La, la, la, la, la, la, la-lie (x4)

Credulous at best
Your desire to believe in
Angels in the hearts of men.
But pull your head on out of your hippie haze
And give a listen
Shouldn't have to say it all again

The universe is hostile
So impersonal
Devour to survive
So it is, so it's always been ...

We all feed on tragedy.
It's like blood to a vampire.

Vicariously, I live while the whole world dies
Much better you than I.

It's Good To Be A Conservative!

Notes For Barack Hussein Obama

Just trying to do my part to help the president..

* On paper Socialism looks nice, it seems loving and humane. However you forget to calculate in the nature of the greed of mankind. It's built in. The reason you like socialism is because it transfers that greed to government and to those in charge of the government.. that would be you. With capitalism we have opportunity. Opportunity is what America was founded on. With Socialism our opportunity ends at the ceiling put in place by the massive oppressive government. With capitalism the sky is the limit.. and then WE as a nation have the chance to help our neighbors who are in need. When you stick the gun to our head and just take the money from us, it squashes any desire to go above and beyond to help those less fortunate. It's called government enforced mediocrity. We don't want that. And you can bet that in America before you get socialism enforced, you will have a 2nd revolution on your hands.

* Mr. President, remember when you told America that you were going to put high level government meetings and negotiations live on C-span. Well you aren't doing that. In fact from what I heard this may be the most secretive administration in the past 50 years. That doesn't bode well with the public. We hate lying more than anything.. and you see how your approval rating graph looks like a pretty fun ski slope? That's because people don't like having to read between the lines of what you say. We're tired of that.

* If a general in the military tells you he needs more troops, and you have ZERO war experience, or even basic cub scout training.. send the man more troops. Blood will be on your hands.